


a new light

by octoberwithoutyou



Series: nightmares [3]
Category: Rogue One: A Star Wars Story (2016), Star Wars - All Media Types
Genre: Alternate Universe - Everyone Lives/Nobody Dies, Gen, M/M, Pining
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-12-29
Updated: 2016-12-29
Packaged: 2018-09-13 00:51:25
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,392
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9098281
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/octoberwithoutyou/pseuds/octoberwithoutyou
Summary: Cassian had already thought of a few reasons why it was a good idea to keep his suggestion into consideration. He had formed a few arguments in his head and was ready to present them if asked. Of course, he wasn't going to tell the entire High Command his most important, selfish reasons, so he kept that part to himself.





	

**Author's Note:**

> third part of the nightmare series, you should read the other two. again, thank you for the support!

No one was surprised when Cassian suggested Dodonna an alternative that said it could be good idea to send him and Bodhi on the same mission instead of separate ones.

Cassian had already thought of a few reasons why it was a good idea to keep his suggestion into consideration. He had formed a few arguments in his head and was ready to present them if asked. Of course, he wasn't going to tell the entire High Command his most important, selfish reasons, so he kept that part to himself.

 

He even went and talked about it with Bodhi. He knew how stressful it could be spend time out there, always on edge even when everything was supposedly safe. Because safe lost its meaning those days. If they were out there, so far from what some of them called home, fighting the good fight, it was because they weren't really safe. At least they were fighting to restore that safety. That peace some of them didn't even know, as they've never experienced it.

He knew Bodhi liked spending time with him and K2 (he tried not to think of their most recent early morning conversations, as they made his heart hurt in both the worst and best kind of way), but Cassian didn't want to feel as if he was forcing the other to stay with him.

“You're thinking into it too much.” K2 told him once with a long suffering sigh as he caught the other staring at nothing in particular, deep in thought.

When Cassian’s only response was a raised eyebrow, K sighed again.

“You know he would follow you everywhere.”

“That's not what I want.” Cassian frowned. “I want him to decide for himself, instead of following me blindly because I treat him nicely.”

“I know I'm not supposed to talk about this, but you're the blind one here, Cassian.”

He didn't ask what K meant. What could a droid know about this, anyway?

 

There wasn't really time to think whether it was a good idea to ask or not, so Cassian decided to just go and ask in a vague way. Present it to Bodhi as a suggestion, not necessarily a better idea than the original plan of go on different missions. 

He rehearsed what he was going to say earlier in his head, to both the dismay and amusement of K2, who simply stopped talking and left him alone, only wishing it would all stop so Cassian would stop having his head in the clouds. There was a war to win, after all.

Cassian found Bodhi in the hangar, talking to another pilot, presumably about the ship they were both in front of. He waved at them as he walked up to them, and the pilot was quick to make up an excuse and left them alone. Cassian rolled his eyes but Bodhi didn't seem too bothered. It was impossible he didn't realise how ridiculous it all was, so Cassian guessed he was just ignoring it or pretending it was all perfectly normal. 

“There was a transmission sent by Chirrut and Baze.” Bodhi told Cassian. “They found a planet to stay in. After what happened to Jedha...They sent their greetings.”

Cassian remembered K2 informing him about that earlier that day, and felt bad he hadn’t paid much attention to him, engrossed as he was in that moment. “So I’ve heard. That’s good news.”

Bodhi pointed at some boxes next to the U-wing and sat down, patting the box next to him with a smile. Cassian smiled back and sat down as well. “So, I have something I wanted to talk to you about.”

“Is it about you wanting us to be assigned on the same mission?” Bodhi asked.

“Yes.” Cassian said slowly. “How did you know?”

“K2SO told me.” And of course he did. Cassian was cursing the droid under his breath when he felt Bodhi’s hand atop his, hesitantly. He looked up. “I just wanted to say, I would like to.”

“Really? Because I don’t want you to think you _have_ to, or-”

Bodhi laughed, and Cassian wasn’t even mad he was being interrupted on a speech he’d been planning the whole day. “K told me you would say that. And I understand.”

“You do?” Cassian asked, still a bit surprised.

“I do. I… I’m a cargo pilot.” Bodhi declared, lowering his eyes, smile dropping. Cassian didn’t like how that sounded. “I didn’t have a high enough test scores to qualify into the starfighter programme. I’m mediocre at best. Maybe if I go with you I could learn a thing or two. Become good enough to serve the Alliance right.”

Cassian realised three things simultaneously: K2 didn’t tell Bodhi the whole crush thing, which he was thankful for, Bodhi had got it all wrong, and how his heart ached to prove him why. He turned to face Bodhi so quickly the other jumped, startled.

“No, that’s not it. I would like to go with you, but not- not because of that. That’s not true.” Cassian said softly, looking at the man and wondering how he could think that despite all he’d done. “You already are serving the Alliance. The Rebellion. You’ve been serving it since you defected and took Galen Erso’s message to Saw Gerrera. You could’ve stopped there, considering what happened…” Bodhi looked away. “But you didn’t. You aren’t mediocre. You’ve done enough to prove that you aren’t.”

Bodhi looked as if he didn’t know what to say. Cassian understood that, knew he wouldn’t just believe him straight away, but that was fine. If Bodhi said yes, he would help him realise that. Step by step. They were in the middle of a war, yes, and they might not be alive the next day, but as long as they were fine and together, Cassian would try. Force, now he knew why K2 seemed exasperated these days. He never knew he could be that sappy.

“I just need you to know that.” He finished rather lamely. “Because that’s what I think of you, and that’s why I want you to be with me. Maybe I can the one that learns a thing or two.” 

Bodhi’s eyes shone with unshed tears, and Cassian was alarmed for a second before the other smiled. Just a twitch of his lips at first, before it grew into a shy smile. “You really think so?” He asked, quietly.

“I do.” Cassian nodded. Bodhi nodded as well, blinking the tears away, smile widening.

“I still mean it. If I can, I would like to. Go with you. And K2SO.”

“Of course.” He rolled his eyes, but he was smiling as well. They looked at each other for a moment, smiling at each other like fools, before someone coughed and they were both brought back to reality. And the reality was that they were in a hangar full of people that apparently, had nothing better to do than stare at them. 

Cassian cleared his throat, standing up. “Good, then. I’ll go inform Jan Dodona. Good talk.” He patted Bodhi’s back once, catching a glimpse of his red cheeks, and nodded, starting to walk away. Usually, he would tell them they were busy enough to stop their work over meaningless things, but he wasn’t an hypocrite. So the only thing he could do was glare at some people as he walked pass them. 

 

So he went and talked in front of Jan Dodonna himself, trying to be as quick as possible as the other was busy planning the strategy to destroy the Death Star. Cassian was sure the only reason he had agreed to see him was because Rogue 1. 

Again, Cassian was interrupted as he was starting to list the reasons why he was asking that. He was surprised to see Dodonna placing a hand on his shoulder with a knowing smile. “We'll see, officer Andor.”

As if sensing the other was going to start arguing again, Dodonna sighed. “I have to discuss that with the others. I'll make sure to deliver your arguments.” With that Cassian thanked him and left. He knew that was the best he was going to get at the moment.

 

“They’ll say yes.” K2 assured Cassian, Bodhi gone in a medical examination. 

Cassian knew it wasn’t really worth it asking him why he believed that, so he just nodded. After a moment of silence, he turned to K2. “I’ve never really asked you… how would you feel if Bodhi goes with us?”

“Since you’ve already passed the suggestion to Jan Dodonna, my opinion is not really of importance now.”

Cassian rolled his eyes. “Humour me.”

“Okay.” K set what he was holding aside and focused entirely on Cassian. He only did that when he wasn’t joking, and frankly, it made Cassian feel a little uncomfortable. “I’ll ‘humour you’. I think you’ve been smiling more these days. That’s not necessarily a thing needed to win the war. But it’s something new. You’ve also been blushing more. I could go on. And we both know the reason why. Us and the entire base.” Cassian, who blushed easily, looked away and scoffed. “Cassian, I don’t have to obey you, or stay with you. But I do, because I trust you, and I trust that what you do is the right thing. Because you’re my friend.”

Cassian opened his mouth to say something but K stopped him, raising a hand. “To conclude, I trust you’re doing the right thing by wanting Bodhi with you. And by ‘right thing’, I mean talk things out with him…”

“Kay…”

“I know, not talking about this.” K2 shook his head disapprovingly. “I wouldn’t mind having Bodhi Rook on our crew. “ The droid concluded. “And honestly, I don’t know why you ask me this if you don’t want the entire truth.”

“I know the truth, Kay. I don’t think now it’s the time for it.”

It wasn’t really true, but K2 just hummed and changed the subject, which Cassian was thankful for. He could feel K2’s eyes on his back the rest of the day, especially when Bodhi joined them. Cassian thought it was very out of character of him, but then again, nothing like _Bodhi_ had happened before. He just ignored it and tried not to look at K2 too much. He could almost see the disappointed look he was sending him.

 

They were called aside after training a few days later. Cassian wished they were less secretive. Bodhi looked sick, as if he thought he was being punished. When Cassian tried to tell him it was probably nothing, the other just made a noise and adjusted the goggles on his head. It didn't help they were told to wait. 

That's how Jan Dodonna and a few others found Cassian braiding Bodhi's hair quite badly. He immediately let go, glancing first at the people sitting down on the chairs opposite of them with an unimpressed look on their face, and then at Bodhi, who looked too nervous to be embarrassed.

Cassian made sure not to hide his annoyance. Luckily, they seemed to notice and quickly projected something on the holotable. “We’ve considered your suggestion, officer Andor. We decided that, although your piloting skills are enviable, your next mission requires more of your abilities as an Intelligence officer. You’re going to need a pilot.”

Cassian heard Bodhi going ‘I’m a pilot’, so softly that the others didn’t hear him. Cassian shot him a smile and quick nod.

“As you know, in these situations, we usually ask you for suggestion as in which people you consider apt to the job. We will call you tomorrow with your crew to discuss the details of the mission.”

Cassian was wondering why they had called Bodhi as well, and Jan must have sensed it, because he turned to Bodhi, who jumped and flatted his palms against his thighs, forcing himself to look up. “According to officer Andor, you are competent enough to join him in this mission. We trust his judgement, and after we saw in Scarif, we believe he chose wisely.”

Cassian understood why he was saying this, and sent Jan a thankful look. Jan responded with a nod. Bodhi thanked Jan, not as nervous as before but not entirely calm. He also looked uncomfortable, as if not knowing how to respond to the compliments. Luckily, they were quickly dismissed.

“I know you maybe won’t believe it,” Cassian told Bodhi once they were outside. “But Jan would never lie about something like that.”

Bodhi raised a questioning eyebrow. “If they told you that, they must be really impressed with your abilities.” Cassian explained. Bodhi shrugged, but he was turning red. “Remember what we talked about? I still believe it.”

“It’s just too much.” Bodhi finally spoke up. “Galen said things like those, you know? He told me that… I would do things right if I listened to my heart. I’m just following his advice. No big deal.”

“Oh, Bodhi…” Cassian said softly. 

“What?”

“You’re doing so much more than that.”

They walked in silence for a moment. Cassian knew it was hard for Bodhi to believe all of that. Not for the first time he wished he could convince the other.

“I’m trying.” Bodhi’s voice cut off his thoughts. “I… I’m trying, Cassian.”

“I know.” Cassian looked around. It was empty, so everyone must’ve been in the cafeteria. He reached out and offered Bodhi his hand, which the other took. “That’s enough. We should get Kay. Celebrate.”

“Celebrate what?”

“That we’re a team.” He shrugged as if it wasn’t really a big thing, just in case Bodhi didn’t think it was. The other was silent for a moment and Cassian glanced at him worriedly.

Bodhi was smiling. He was looking down, smiling widely. Cassian felt his heart miss a beat, and had to look away. Kriff, this crush was going to kill him. 

“We are a team.” Bodhi repeated, his smile not dropping one inch.

“We are.” Cassian nodded, squeezing Bodhi’s hand. He didn’t know how Bodhi felt about hugs, and he wasn’t a touchy person, but in that moment he wanted to hold the other tightly. He decided not to. “C’mon, he must be wondering where we are.” He said, sobering up.

They walked in the cafeteria holding hands, because Cassian didn’t have the heart to let go.


End file.
